Why Upper Belts Avoid New White Belts in BJJ (and How to Fix It)
Starting your journey in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is both exciting and intimidating. You step onto the mats ready to learn, but you might notice something strange: the higher belts don’t always seem eager to roll with you. If you’ve ever wondered why upper belts avoid new white belts, you’re not alone. This is a common experience in academies everywhere, and it often has less to do with you personally than you think.
The good news? There are clear reasons behind this, and even better, practical ways to fix it and earn the trust of more experienced training partners.
The Most Common Reasons Upper Belts Avoid White Belts
1. Safety Concerns
Safety is always the biggest factor. Experienced belts often sacrifice their bodies so new students can learn, but this comes at a cost. New white belts usually don’t understand how to relax and often move recklessly — throwing accidental knees and elbows, or pushing into positions with no control. While these mistakes aren’t malicious, they lead to aggravating injuries, and over time, upper belts simply don’t want to deal with it anymore.
This lack of control also shows up in submissions. Beginners sometimes push a joint lock too far or crank a choke without recognizing the danger. The result is that higher belts end up taking on all the responsibility to “relax” and manage the situation, which means their training time turns into damage control instead of productive practice.
2. Lack of Awareness
Along with safety issues, many white belts struggle with awareness. They don’t yet understand where their limbs are, how much pressure they’re using, or when they’re rushing into danger. This is why upper belts often repeat the advice: “Relax” and “Calm down.” But many new students misinterpret this. They think relaxing means giving up effort, which feels like “losing” the roll.
This creates a cycle:
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The white belt feels their technique isn’t enough, so they compensate with more strength.
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More strength makes them tense and unpredictable, which makes them more dangerous.
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Upper belts pull back or avoid them entirely to prevent accidents.
3. Miscommunication on the Mats
The miscommunication between white belts and upper belts is huge. Beginners often believe that effort equals progress — that if they just fight harder, they’re doing well. But the real skill comes from learning to relax. A relaxed white belt learns faster, stays safer, and becomes a valued training partner.
When upper belts see that a new student is actually trying to learn instead of just “win,” they’ll invest more time helping. In fact, learning to relax early is one of the most valuable lessons in all of BJJ. It doesn’t just protect your partners — it earns their respect.
How to Earn Trust and Get More Rolls
If you want upper belts to seek you out as a partner, focus on the qualities that make training enjoyable for everyone.
1. Control Your Energy
Rolling isn’t a fight. Slow down, breathe, and let technique lead the way.
2. Respect the Tap
Tap early, release quickly, and always protect your partner.
3. Ask, Don’t Assume
If you’re unsure whether an upper belt wants to roll, politely ask. If they decline, respect it.
4. Be Coachable
Apply corrections immediately. Upper belts value beginners who listen and improve.
Why This Etiquette Matters
Understanding why upper belts avoid new white belts isn’t about blame — it’s about culture. When white belts show control, humility, and awareness, they quickly become the kind of training partners everyone values.
Remember: every upper belt was once in your shoes. By relaxing, respecting your partners, and focusing on learning, you’ll earn their trust — and their help — on your journey.
Continue Your Learning
Want to dive deeper into BJJ etiquette and culture? Explore our full Respect the Culture, Learn the Etiquette series here:
👉 Read the Etiquette Series
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👉 White Belt Jiu Jitsu: The Complete Beginner’s Guide
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